Mini Essay: Men Kinda Suck
When a man encounters a self assured woman, a woman who is powerful in her own right, it causes them to retract. I believe that men subconsciously find themselves revolving around broken women because it reassures their masculinity. They feel the need to rescue this woman, to utilize her as their tokened damsel. Since the man is not born with the natural maternal instinct, they never truly feel that they are taking care of someone. When a woman submits herself, it gives a man the opportunity to parent her, to become her daddy.
In “The Newly Born Woman," Hélène Cixous analyzes this specific binary, the binary of activity/passivity, Cixous believes that men are associated with being active while women are associated with being passive.
"Either woman is passive or she does not exist. What is left of her is unthinkable, unthought. Which certainly means that she is not thought, that she does not enter the oppositions, that she does not make a couple with the father,"
If a woman is not submissive, she is not equal - she isn’t even a thought. Men gravitate towards the passive woman and feed on her passivity and finds different ways to control it, to control her. When a woman is seen as independent, she is a threat to male dominance, she is challenging his usual authority. The more the world progresses, the more woman are discovering and exercising their voices and this frightens men. Women are taking control of their power, their eroticism. Audre Lorde came up with this idea in her essay, “Uses of The Erotic: The Erotic as Power,” throughout history women have suppressed their erotic because they weren’t confident in their abilities. Men have changed the connotation of the erotic, negating the true meaning and making it something adulterous, when it is a true feeling of feminine empowerment. Men are fearful of that.
Men continue to try to encage women into their notion of how women should behave or who they want them to be and they do this unknowingly. They become obsessed with women who naturally emit these qualities and they prey on them because they are aware that the women who are assertive, independent and powerful oppose their masculinity. They find themselves looking for purpose within these relationships and instead of pursuing them, they search for a woman who fits their desired mold. They are intimidated.